Never
by CelticStar87
Summary: She was looking for her bother and she found him when she showed up at the Institute looking for help from the X-Men. She was also reunited with the man she'd loved for a very long time. Can he forget about his past and learn to love her too? OCxLogan
1. Arrival

_Preface:_

_This story takes place after X1, X2, X3, and Wolverine. There are a few changes to the story line. Gambit is at the Institute. Jean is dead. Scott and Xavier are not. Sabertooth is very much alive as well (to me it was implied in X1 that he was killed since you never saw him again. if that's inaccurate then i'm sorry but that's how i saw it.) Logan as stopped leaving so often... granted he does go away for missions and the like but he's not really hunting down his past anymore; though he still has questions. Enter Cat. I have made her the sister of Gambit and a mutant much like that of Wolverine and X-23. Of course, with Cat being my own character I've taken the liberties of making her a very unique mutant as she has more than one mutation. You'll have to read the story to find out what I mean by that. Anyways, Cat's arrival at the mansion throws the team into a whole lot of trouble with the appearence of Sabertooth, Magneto, and Omega Red. I've also taken liberty in giving Stryker (who, yes, is dead) a little more power than was implied in X2. I gave him not only Alkali Lake but also three other lab facilities: one in Ireland, one in Russia (hence Omega Red's appearence in the story) and one in Africa (which I go a little more in depth in the sequel to this story which is not finished yet). You'll have to read the story to really understand all of this._

_P.S. As for Rogue... well that's really up to you as the reader to figure out what happened with her as far as the cure is concerned. She's at the mansion and is with Gambit (as I always think she should be, not that I have anything against Rogans but for me it's always Romy). You can think that she never took the cure or that she did take the cure and it has worn off. Either way the story works because it's not really about her. It's about Cat and Logan._

_Disclaimer:_

_I do NOT own any rights to the X-Men. As far as I know, Cat is my own character and the story plot, for the most part, is mine._

_Please, read and review. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it and hope to get the sequel finished and up soon._

_Rated M to be on the safe side. It's better to be safe than have this kicked off the sight._

**-Never-**

**Gambit's POV**

It had been a long day. I was on my way back to my room after an intense Danger Room session when I heard something outside. It was a motorcycle coming down the drive way. At first I thought it was Logan but then, as it came closer, I noticed that the rider was female. The only female biker at the mansion was my Rogue and I knew it wasn't her since I had just passed her on her way to the Danger Room. She pulled right in front of the doors. When she got off the bike she looked up at me; like she knew I was there. I couldn't see her face since she still had the helmet on. Because of my empathy I could feel her every emotion but the strongest one was nervousness. _Who is she? Why is she here and why is she so nervous?_ I couldn't help but think that there was something familiar about her.

**Catarina's (Cat) POV**

I had finally made to the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters. It had been a long journey. After escaping from one of Stryker's many labs it had taken a little while to earn enough money to buy my bike. I had been transferred from lab to lab and I was sick of it. After everything was said and done I had all but lost my Cajun accent but I'd pick up another along the way. My Irish accent wasn't as thick as it was when I was at a lab there. This worked in my favor though. I didn't want _him_ to recognize me too early. When I looked up to the figure standing in the window I was thankful that I hadn't taken off my helmet. I knew who he was. I could never forget those eyes. I was five the last time I saw him, but those eyes; that red on black was so hard to forget. It was those eyes that kept me going through all the experiments. Besides our names and the fact that we were both mutants, there was only one other thing that was common between my brother and I. We were empaths. And I could tell that he was curious about me… he had no clue who I was. I looked back towards the doors before taking off my helmet and placing it on the back seat. I was here for a reason… I was here to try to join the X-Men. I also needed their help.

I was being lead by a voice in my head. I knew that it was none other than Professor Charles Xavier. He was leading me to his office and when I reached it the doors were already open.

"Come in, Catarina."

"Professor Xavier?"

"You wish to join the X-Men, is that correct?"

"Aye. I've traveled a long way to…" I started but was stopped when someone walked through the door.

"Remy?" I froze at the name. The Professor was giving him a questioning glance. I could feel eyes trying to figure me out from behind. It wasn't a very comfortable feeling.

I slowly turned around and faced my brother.

**Gambit's POV**

My breath caught in my throat when the woman before me turned around. I was looking into the icy blue eyes that could only belong to one person. "Cat."

"Hello, brother." She had already known who I was… but then again I knew my eyes would have given me away.

"What are you…?" I had taken a step toward her; wanting to get closer to the sister I hadn't seen in a very long time, but was stopped when she took a step back.

"She wishes to join the X-Men, Gambit." The Professor answered my question before she could.

"What about Stryker and the lab?"

"It's over, Remy. That's all finished. I'm never, ever going back. I can't… I…" Her eyes were filling with tears and turning a slivery gray. I couldn't help but reach out to her. She tried to struggle at first but then she gave up and I hugged her until she calmed down.

"What is this!" Oh, great. I knew if Rogue saw this without me explaining something she would take it out of context. That was how Rogue was.

"Rogue, wait!" I started after her. I took off running when she wouldn't stop. "Rogue!"

"What the hell, swamp rat!

"She's my sister, Rogue! I haven't seen her in years. Not since she was taken from me when her powers surfaced. She was taken by… she's been through so many experiments and lab tests…"

"She was taken by who?" I could see that she believed me but could also see that she was thinking of the experiments that Logan had gone through.

"Yes. She was taken by Stryker and his men. I only found out later what he was doing. I had all but thrown her out. What Stryker promised was much like what happens here. I didn't realize… I didn't think about how she felt." I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Remy." Her voice was soft, I had to turn around and look. Her eyes were the silvery gray I had seen them changing into in the office. I had to shake my head to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

**Cat's POV**

"I know. My eyes are silver when I'm sad, icy blue normally, purple when I'm terrified, and red when I'm angry. Remy, what happened with Stryker; with the experiments… it wasn't your fault. I could sense his feelings just as much as you. Something didn't feel right but since you weren't saying anything, I wasn't going to either. I tried to get out… tried to escape when I was in Ireland. I managed to and was free for about a year until then they found me. I had already gone through the worst experiment… the adamantium was so painful…"

"Adamantium?" Rogue's question stopped me. "Like Logan and Laura?"

"Aye. Like Wolverine and X-23." I answered and then extracted the three claws in each hand. "My claws are like those of Wolverine. He was the first to survive the experiment; I was the second and last for that particular process. X-23 went through a different process and her body was also different than Wolverine's and mine. But after that… Wolverine and X-23 were done with experiments and tests once they went through the adamantium process. I wasn't. Nowhere near finished when they realized I had more mutations than they first thought."

"More mutations?" Remy was trying to comfort me but when I brought up that fact that I had more than the mutations he knew I had… well, that got his attention as well as Rogue's. And a few other people… I hadn't noticed that Laura, Bobby, Kitty and Piotr had walked into the room we were in.

"Who is she?" Bobby asked… I did NOT like the way he was looking at me. The lust was oozing off of him and I'm sure Remy could feel it too.

"She's my sister." Remy said in the tone that told Bobby to back off or he was going to get hurt.

"Nice to see you again, Cat. I'm glad you got out of there." Laura said. She had been one of the only friends I made during my time in the labs.

"Hi, Laura. Yeah, me too. When word spread that Stryker was dead… well, there was no one to keep us in the labs anymore. Although, now I feel like I'm in even more danger."

"What do you mean?" Remy asked. I could feel him getting angry.

"I think we should take this to the professor. He has to know what's going on too." I said. I knew I was right. I was hoping that Storm would show up soon. I had a lot of questions for her. At least I could talk to Rogue about some things now. When I had been reading about the X-Men I somehow felt a connection to the fierce Southern belle and was eager to meet her. Little did I know she was dating my brother. "Shall we?"

The seven of us headed to the Professor's office where we were greeted by the rest of the X-Men team members except one. For some reason I had hoped he would be here, but I knew better. I also knew that he wouldn't remember who I was; it was a miracle that Laura did.

"My office is a little small for all of us. Let's go to the conference room. We have a lot to discuss." He looked at me when he said that. Somehow that look and tone did not make me feel very good. I knew that if my eyes changed colors when I was nervous… well they wouldn't be the ice blue I loved so much.

When we reached the conference room I sat next to Xavier and Remy. Rogue sat on the other side of Gambit. Everybody else took their regular seats. I couldn't help but notice the empty chair that was meant for the one X-Men I wanted to see again. Though the last time I saw him, he wasn't an X-Men, in fact, he didn't want anything to do with people. Sometimes not even me, but that didn't stop me from staying close to him when I could. Others didn't mess with me when I was near him… not even Victor. That all changed when he ran… I shook my head from my thoughts and focused on what Xavier was saying.

"This is Catarina Le Beau. Remy's sister. She's been through a lot and has come seeking to join the X-Men. Cyclops I will let you…"

"Professor… I am here hoping to join the X-Men but that is not the only reason why I'm here. I… Well, with my…" It was hard for me to say what I needed to say especially with everyone starring at me. Especially Cyclops, the leader of the X-Men and the emotions I was getting from him did not help my nerves any. "Um… well, with my multiple mutations… I'm in a whole mess of trouble. I'm being hunted by three very strong, very angry mutants. At least one of them would like nothing better than to use me as a weapon against humans. One wants… well, he wants _me_. The third wants me to rule alongside him… to be his 'queen.' I came here for help. Please, I know you've dealt with two of the three before and I know I'm no match for them by myself." I looked at Cyclops and to the Professor, hoping that my pleading tone would help my case.

"I don't know about this. We don't really have space on the team right now. And besides how can we know we can trust you?" I knew that was going to be his answer; I could feel the cat inside me trying claw her way to the surface. I knew my eyes were taking on a red tint; the claws were starting to come out on their own accord. I felt a growl make its way out; now I knew my eyes were red.

"Calm down. Cat, let's talk before you get too angry." Remy's voice and hand were the only things keeping me sane.

"Look pretty boy, I know you're the leader and all. I know you're just looking out for your friends and family. I don't even care if I can't join the team right now. Just don't you dare turn me away and force me to face Magneto, Sabertooth, and Omega Red by myself. I won't survive. Magneto will either use me as a weapon or kill me. Sabertooth will kill my soul and I won't have any reason left to live. I'd kill myself before I joined Omega Red. Right now, I'm asking for protection from these three. Please."

"Scott, please. You wouldn't turn your brother away. Don't you dare turn my sister away! If you do I'll no other choice but to go with her."

"Remy, no."

"Cat, now that Gambit's found you again, he ain't ever lettin' go." It was comforting to hear him speak in the third person.

"If Gambit goes, I go. Think about it Scott. She's been through a lot already. She needs our help." Rogue was sticking up for me. I knew very little about her, but I knew enough to know that her threatening to leave the only true home she's ever known means a lot.

"We will not turn away a mutant in danger who has come seeking our help and shelter. Cat, you have a place here at the school. We will do everything we can to keep you safe. Hank, call Logan, tell him we need him back here right away. Now, Cat, tell us everything you think we need to know. Why are these three after you?" I could tell that Scott wasn't happy with the Professor's comment but there was nothing he could do about it.

After Hank returned from contacting Wolverine, I proceeded to tell them all about the labs. All the experiments that Stryker and his men had put me through. And told them about the mutation that had led them to me.

"A female wolverine… great." Scott's sarcastic tone was annoying.

"Yeah, I may have the same metal attached to my skeleton, the same heightened sense, regenerative healing, stamina, and strength that Wolverine has but I'm not the same as him. I'm not cold; I don't detach myself from people. I had someone to keep me alive through those horrible times. I vowed that I would see my brother again; that love kept me going. There were many times when I wanted to die; I had thought about killing myself but then I would see his face and remember what I promised myself." I looked at Laura. "There were a couple other people that kept me going. Laura kept me sane while in the lab at Alkali Lake before I got the adamantium, and after. There are times when I would like nothing more than to forget everything I went through. Somehow, my mind managed to heal and though I let them think I had lost my memories, the truth was… the truth is, I remember everything."

"What about these other mutations?" Hank was curious. Everyone else was too, but he was the only one to ask the question.

"I can control the weather. I'm not as powerful as Storm, but I can. I discovered that while I was in Ireland. It was when I was free for about a year that I started using the name Thundercat. I had begun helping crack down on the crime. I worked closely with the police but also stayed hidden. Somehow word got back to Stryker and I was recaptured and went through more tests and experiments. It was through one of those experiments that I acquired the ability to fly. I believe I was beginning to be formatted to be the ultimate weapon. I remember hearing them talk about how I was going to be more powerful than any other mutant weapon; that they wouldn't make the same mistakes they made with Weapon X. There would be guards posted everywhere with no chance of me escaping again."

"How did you escape?" Scott's tone was, again, not something I liked. There was some reason he didn't like the fact that I was here.

"We were released from the labs when news of Stryker's death spread. We were to be contained in a facility somewhere in Africa. I took the opportunity to escape. There were so many of us who did that they couldn't keep track. We were in a lab in Russia. That's where I ran into Omega Red. That's where I… he…" It was too hard to speak it. I looked at the Professor, I'd rather him hear it from me through my mind and then let him say it.

"He almost raped you." He understood what I wanted him to do.

"What!"

"Remy, calm down. Almost, he almost raped me."

"How does someone 'almost' rape you?" Scott was again questioning my motives. If he continued down this path he was going to get hurt.

"I was able to stop him before he got too far. I used my newly found weather abilities to slow him down enough for me to escape. I took off. Literally, I flew out of there with only what I could carry of my belongings. I ended up back in New Orleans. After a run in with a very heated Sabertooth… which he was little easier to deal with then Omega Red… I headed here."

Scott snickered. "How can we believe anything you say?"

"That does it! I'm sick of your attitude Cyclops! I don't need this from you! You and your perfect little life… you have no idea what I had to go through. I wasn't a teenager when my powers manifested… I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD! I was a kid; taken from my home, from my brother! You have trust issues, pretty boy! You think Wolverine gets mad… you ain't seen nothin' yet!" I knew my eyes were blood red; the color they turned when I let my anger control me. My claws were out; the cat in me had been released. I needed to get out of this room before I did something I'd regret. I bolted. Ran outside and then flew. I flew as high as I could before the air got too thin. Suddenly, I was growling, hissing, and then the sky started to rumble. I was controlling the weather and was now getting ready to unleash an intense storm. Lightning streaked the sky and the thunder was so strong I'm sure it shook the ground. This was my outlet.


	2. Meeting

**Scott's POV**

"Now see what you've done!" Gambit was beyond pissed. "You have no right to judge her; no right to not trust her!"

The ground was shaking with thunder. The sky was streaked with lightning. I had noticed the red of her eyes. Apparently, when she was angry they turned red; when she was furious they turned blood red. They were blood red when she bolted out of the room. I don't know why I acted the way I did with her. There was just something about her that I just didn't trust. I felt like she wasn't telling the whole truth. She was right though; I did have trust issues.

"I'll go talk to her." I said.

"I wouldn't do that. She'll kill you. I saw the color of her eyes; she's not thinking clearly. When her eyes are that color… that's all she sees. I've seen her when she's like that. No guard remained alive. I'll let her tell you what led to that, but I would just leave her alone. This storm is her outlet. She used enough sense to get out of here before she turned. She's had trouble harnessing the cat within her… she's a feral mutant, like Wolverine and me, but she's a little tamer, most of the time. She's worse than Wolverine when her eyes are blood red." Laura spoke calmly. I knew she was right. Catarina just needed time to cool off and I needed to understand why I felt I couldn't trust her.

"Who's worse than me?" Wolverine walked through the door of the conference room. "I was already on my way back when Hank called me. What's up?"

"Welcome back, Logan. Take a seat; we've got a lot to explain." Xavier motioned for Logan to take his normal seat. And he did so.

"What's goin' on? What's with the storm outside?" He looked at Storm when he asked.

"It's not me. Ask Scott who he pissed off." Storm retorted.

"Ok. Pretty boy, who'd ya piss off?" That's why I didn't like her. She was like Logan; too much like Logan.

**Logan's POV**

"He pissed of my sista. And he gonna pay for it. Remy just found her and if Scott causes him to lose her… well, there'll be hell to pay." I looked at the Cajun. I don't think I've ever seen him like this. He looked ready to kill. He wasn't even like this when some guy hit on Rogue… then again he knew Rogue could take care of herself.

"Gambit." Rogue's hand was on his arm, trying to calm him.

"Chere, Gambit ain't gonna lose his sista twice. Once was bad enough. But he also ain't gonna kill anybody in here. Well, not right now. As long as Scott doesn't piss her off again and cause her to run he gonna live." Gambit placed his hand over hers.

I noticed that there was a strange scent in the room. I didn't know the scent, but it seemed familiar all the same. The storm outside was calming down and I noticed Gambit release a sigh. He was relieved. Apparently the storm had something to do with his sister. I didn't know Gumbo had any family; he never mentioned it. Suddenly there was a hair raising scream. Gambit was out the door before anyone else. Rogue and I followed close behind him. As soon as we were outside there was another scream. Whoever it was was terrified. The fear was so thick I was almost choking.

"Get off me! I swear, Victor, if ya don't get off me I'm gonna kill ya!" There was no more screaming but the voice was growling. What made it worse was that it was female.

"Sabertooth." I felt myself growl. I knew Victor was Sabertooth, and I knew the hormone laced scent I was picking up. Whoever this female was, she was in way over her head.

"CAT!" Gambit took off running with Rogue not far behind.

"I said get off! Get your grimy paws off me! So help me Sabertooth…!" Her words were cut off by another scream. This time I was running. I sensed more than heard the rest of the team running behind me. _Took them long enough_. I growled. I stopped cold as I turned the corner. If I hadn't put the brakes on I would have ran Gumbo down.

"Watch it Cajun!" I was in no mood for this. But my focus was now on the fight before us. There was a woman pinned under Sabertooth. Her clothing was torn, revealing her breasts but she was putting up a fight. My sight was locked on her hands. She had claws like me.

**Cat's POV**

This is what I was afraid of. I knew he'd track my scent but I was hoping he was done with his heat before he found me. I was wrong. Dead wrong. I had just landed; calming down after my rage over Cyclops. I should have sensed him but I was too distracted. That's when he pounced. I noticed too late and he was on top of me shredding my clothes. I would've been bleeding to death if it hadn't been for my healing. My eyes were blood red again, claws were out but that rage storm had taken a toll on my energy. I knew getting my claws in him wouldn't do too much good since he could heal too. But I did anyways. I stabbed him over and over in the chest. Then I went for his manhood. That did it. I was up and flying. I could hear the profanity from Sabertooth.

"I told you to back off or you'd be sorry. Let's see you grow those back." I said down to him. He looked up and growled at me.

**Logan's POV**

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She just sliced off his manhood, all of it. _Remind me not to piss her off_. Then she was flying. Her comment about seeing him grow those back made me chuckle which earned a look from the entire team. Gambit was already running and throwing explosive cards at Sabertooth. Rogue was flying over to the woman I assumed was Cat. X-23, Colossus, Iceman, and Angel were all running towards Sabertooth. Storm was also flying towards the woman. I watched as Rogue pulled her into an embrace but she only stayed like that for about second before she was trying to get back into the fight.

"I think we need to get you into a shirt first. Besides I think we should let the men handle it. X-23, get back!" Storm was trying to get Laura out of the fight and Cat away from trying to get back in it.

"I know. You're right Storm. X-23, it's not a good time for women to be fighting Sabertooth even though he'll probably never reproduce. He just got fixed."

Again I had to chuckle at her comment. I started to think I was going to like this woman. It wasn't until they were closer that I could sense this woman, even though she was tough and fought back, was still terrified. Cat was leaning on Rogue and when they landed Kitty handed her a jacket. Gambit was running back to where we were standing. After giving Rogue a squeeze he grabbed Cat. I saw her melt into him and part of me wished that it was me she was embracing. I shook off the thought. _Where'd that come from?_

"Remy." Her voice was so soft that I doubt I would have heard if I didn't have my heightened senses.

"It's ok, Cat. Remy's got ya and he ain't lettin' go." He placed an arm under her legs while the other stayed on her back. He carried her back toward the mansion and I could see him glare at Cyclops. I could sense that the pretty boy blamed himself for what happened. I don't know what came over me. Usually I'm in the middle of the fight, heck I'm usually the first one there, but for some reason I followed Gambit and the woman back to the mansion. Rogue and Laura followed behind while the rest stayed back to help with the fight. When Gambit set Cat down on the couch I got a glimpse at her face. Her eyes are what got my attention. I knew that they were a blood red when she was fighting with Sabertooth but now… now they were purple. I figured it was because of her emotions. She was still terrified.

"Cat? Cat!" Rogue was trying to bring her out whatever trance she seemed to be in. It wasn't until I shifted my weight that she snapped out of it and stared at me. The problem was, she was looking at me like she had seen a ghost.

**Cat's POV**

I was remembering my first encounter with Sabertooth. It was even before I was back in New Orleans after getting back from Russia. It was back when I first got the adamantium. He was the same today as he was then. Lustful. He let his hormones control him. I had learned quickly to control my hormones and not let them control me. I knew that certain times of the month it seemed as though men were more attracted to me… I didn't do anything about it. Even with the cat within I had remained a virgin. But I usually let the men know not to mess with me. Nobody ever saw my eyes a sapphire blue. I knew that was the color the changed when I was… well, when I was passionate with someone. I never had been but I knew that my eyes were a beautiful, deep sapphire blue. It's just something I knew. But Victor… I shuddered at the thought. It wasn't until _he_ shifted that I snapped from my trance. Logan. Wolverine was here in the same room as me. He was looking at me as though I was something new to him. I knew that was how he saw me. What surprised me was the fact that he was in here and not out fighting Sabertooth.

"Cat?" Remy's voice made me look from Logan to him.

"I'm… I'm alright. Don't… don't blame Scott, Gambit. I should have been in control of my emotions more. I should have sensed Sabertooth. I knew he'd follow my trail from New Orleans. I just hope Magneto or Omega Red don't show up… at least not for awhile." I could feel my eyes changing again… they were changing back into the icy blue. I was calming down. I was still scared but knowing that Gambit, Rogue, and Wolverine were in the same room with me… I wasn't as terrified as I was before. "Wolverine?"

"Yeah?" He looked at me with confusion on his face. He was trying to figure out if he knew me or not.

"It's nice to see ya." Now I knew he was confused. "I think I need to go to bed."

"Right. It's been a long day. I'll show ya to your room." Rogue stood up. We walked to the room that had been set up for me. Rogue said that it was also her room but she spent a lot of nights with Remy and that when he was around Logan stayed in here.

"But I'll stay in here with you tonight. I don't think ya want to be alone."

"I'd appreciate that, Rogue."

We both settled down for the night when there was a knock at the door. Rogue got up to see who it was.

"Gambit? What's…"

"Nothin's wrong, chere. I just wanted to stay here tonight. Logan's in one of his moods and I want to be with you and my sister."

"Come in. I wonder what set him off this time?" Rogue was curious about Logan and his mood. I heard the door shut and then said goodnight to the two. It had been a long day and I was hoping for a dreamless sleep.

**Logan's POV**

I was glad the Cajun read my mood and left. 'It's nice to see ya.' not 'It's nice to meet ya'? What was that supposed to mean? She acted as though she knows me from somewhere. But then… she does have claws like me. I wonder when she got them. As far as I know I was the first that survived. I couldn't remember much about my past but I could have sworn there was something familiar about this woman.

"Logan?" It was Laura, maybe she could shed some light on this. She remembered a lot more than I did.

"Come in, Laura."

"What's up with you? You didn't even try to fight Sabertooth today. You feelin' alright?" I chuckled at her comment. It was the same thing I had thought earlier.

"Laura, what can you tell me about Cat?"

"I can tell you that she has adamantium attached to her skeleton. She has the same feral mutations we do. Her eyes change color depending on her mood. Her temper can be worse than yours. She's more in control of the animal within her than you or I. She was with us at Alkali Lake. She's been to just about every lab facility that Stryker owned. She spent most of her time in Ireland where she managed to be free for a year. If you want to know more about her… you're gonna have to ask her about it. I know her well enough that if she doesn't want someone to know somethin' about her… she's gonna keep it to herself. Reveal that secret and you're as good as dead. If it wasn't for Remy and two people who were with her while imprisoned, she'd probably be a wild as Sabertooth… or worse."

"Thank you for telling me things I figured out on my own. Do you know who those two people were…are?"

"I can tell you that one of them was me. The other… well, you'll have to ask her. She's probably more private than you appear to be. She has her own reasons for keeping things secret. Just remember… whatever you do, don't piss her off. You could end up like Sabertooth." We both laughed at that. "Night, Logan."

"Night." She left me to my thoughts. I was thankful that Laura had come here. She was one person who could shed a little light on my dark past. Now maybe Catarina Le Beau could shed even more light. I'd searched all over for answers to my past but maybe the answers I've been searching for have found me instead. And with that thought I laid down and fell into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Questions

**Cat's POV**

I had hoped for a dreamless sleep, but that hoped died as soon as my eyes shut. I was back in the facility in Russia. It was the day I escaped. More than that, it was the day I met Omega Red. My nightmare didn't go as real life had. He took me… all of me and I had no choice but to join him. I woke up panting for air. I must not have made any noise because Rogue and Gambit were still asleep. I knew I wasn't getting back to sleep so I made my way downstairs. I passed my Logan's room and paused enough to hear him sleeping peacefully. _Lucky._ I quickly made my way to the kitchen not really noticing that anyone else was awake.

"Couldn't sleep?" Scott voice came from behind me as I searched the fridge for something to drink.

"Ahh! Don't do that." I about jumped out of my skin. The encounter with Sabertooth and then the nightmare about Omega Red had me on edge.

"Sorry. I thought you couldn't scare easily… heightened senses and all."

"Well, let's just say I've been distracted lately. I did have a run in with Sabertooth and now…" I looked at the floor. I knew my eyes would have had a slight purple tint to them, but they would also have a gray tint to them.

"What?" His voice was actually filled with concern. I could tell that he was truly worried about me. Something must have happened with him earlier to feel that way. "Look at me."

"I'm sorry. I just don't want to talk about it… I can't…"

"What's going on in here?" Logan walked through the door.

"Cat? What's happened? What's wrong?" Scott held his hand up to Logan.

"It was a nightmare. It was about my first encounter with Omega Red. This time I couldn't… I couldn't…" I'm normally a very strong person but I just collapsed on the floor. I knew my eyes were no longer a light silvery purple… they were a deep purple. I was shaking, sobbing… who am I kiddin' I was a complete mess.

"You couldn't what?" Scott was next to me trying to comfort me.

"I couldn't stop him from… he took everything I had, everything I am."

"Scott? What is she talking about?" Logan was looking between Scott and me.

"Logan… get Gambit. Please." He was out the door and back with Gambit quicker than I thought he could have.

"Cat. What's wrong? What happened?" Gambit took the place of Scott.

"She had a nightmare about Omega Red. She couldn't stop him." Scott replied for me.

"Will someone please explain to me what's going on?" Logan was growing impatient.

"When I… I escaped from the… the lab in Ru-Russia… I ran into Om-Omega Red. He almost… al-almost raped me… but I was… w-was able t-to stop him." I was gasping for air; sobs racking through my body that I couldn't control. I then felt warmth radiating from the other side. I looked over and saw Logan kneeling beside me. "The problem is… he's looking for me. One down two to go…" I tried to make a joke, but I don't think anyone found it too funny.

"We should all get some sleep. We'll have to call a meeting tomorrow and discuss some things." Scott said looking at us.

"There's no way I'm goin' back to sleep. Gambit, go back to bed. I'll be ok." I knew if I didn't plead there was no way he was leaving.

"I'll stay with her. Cajun, go keep your woman warm and happy. No way I wanna see a pissed Rogue tomorrow." Logan said.

**Logan's POV**

I'm not sure what came over me when Cat said that she was almost raped and that in her nightmare she was… I've been trying to control the Wolverine but there's something about this woman that he—and I—feel the need to protect. All three of them just looked at me when I mentioned that I would stay with her. Scott was more shocked than anything, Gambit was… well, he looked ready to kill, and Cat looked confused but hopeful.

"It's ok Remy. I trust him." He mumbled something along the lines of "I don't see how" but complied with his sister's wishes. She rolled her eyes at his comment. Then we were alone. _Great! Now what?_

"I know you have questions for me, but you don't have to stay with me if you don't want to." She was an empath like her brother; no doubt about that.

"It's not that I don't want to. It's just that I'm not sure I understand why I said I would." It was hard not to be honest with her. But then maybe that had something to do with the fact that she would be able to tell if I was lying.

"You can ask whatever questions you have. I'm not promising I'll answer them, but you can ask."

"Earlier, you said that it was nice to see me, not that it was nice to meet me. Do we know each other?" That had been bugging me all night and Laura did nothing to really help.

"Aye. We know each other. At least… I know you. You won't remember me just like you don't remember much about before the experiment or really much after it. I, well, I remember every horrible detail. And most of the time I wish I didn't."

"How can you say that!" I just couldn't understand how she would want to not know about everything.

"It's not that easy, Logan. It's not easy, or pleasant, to remember the torture, the pain, the tests, the experiments. It's not easy to remember the blood of those guards on my hands; whether I thought they deserved it or not… I wish everyday that I couldn't remember their screams." We had been sitting at the table but now she moved to look out the window. Before she moved I noticed her eyes were silver. "That was the day I vowed to control the cat within me. I would no longer let her rule my anger and… well… ya know." She blushed at the last comment. Oh, yeah. I knew. She was in heat right now but you wouldn't be able to tell if you couldn't smell it. She was in control… that was impressive.

"How long have you been…?" I asked, just curious.

"Thankfully not long. It started right after Sabertooth. I think that may be why I couldn't… didn't stop Omega Red in my nightmare. My dreams are usually my outlet, my relief. But I guess after the incident with Sabertooth… my fear got the better of me. My dreams are usually better, they're usually about one person from my past." She was facing me, her eyes were back to that piercing ice blue that I've grown to love. Right now it's my favorite color… _Oh, crap. Where did that come from? Great, now I'm starting to sound like a sappy chick flick. I think I'm gonna be sick_.

"Nothing's gonna happen to ya, kid. You're with the X-Men, we'll be here for ya."

**Cat's POV**

'_Kid'? Oh great… just great. There go all my dreams down the drain. I'm just glad he didn't ask who I dreamt about… not sure I could lie to him._ It was weird being here with Logan. I knew he was upset about me wishing I didn't remember my past because he's spent most of his life trying to figure his out. He just doesn't understand how hard it is to have to relive everything… you think I'd get numb to it now, but no. It's as painful now as it was when I actually went through it. "Anymore questions?"

"Yeah, who else is after you besides Omega Red?"

"Magneto. Who else? He's been wanting me to join him against humans. He said that with my powers I can do great things for fellow mutants. I tried explaining to him that I was only interested in living in a world where humans and mutants could get along. I wanted to help bring us into that world. He only called me stupid and naïve and that one day I'd see things his way."

"We've dealt with him before, we'll do it again." Logan growled out. I knew he hated Magneto… after all Rogue was the only family he felt he had and Magneto nearly killed her. "Can I ask you something else?"

"I said you could ask me anything. I just made no promises to answer them."

"How do we know each other?" I was waiting for that question… now how to answer it?

"The others in the facility at Alkali Lake didn't like me too much… well, the guys tended to be all over me and I didn't care for that kind of attention. You were the only one who wasn't like that. I stuck close to your side, you didn't seem to mind too much as long as I stayed out of your way and the guys seemed to back off. It wasn't long after you left that I went through the adamantium process… after that, well that's when a lot of guards ended up dead."

"What happened?" He was genuinely concerned and curious about what happened that night.

"I was heading back to my 'room' when I noticed a handful of guards following me. I could feel what they wanted… I don't think they realized I was an empath… I wasn't having any of that. Instead of taking the warnings seriously they decided they were going to gang up on me and all take turns. I could feel the lust rolling off of them. That made the cat in me very, very angry. My eyes turned blood red and they still didn't heed the warning. I slit throats, gutted a few of them… it was disgusting, but by the time they realized they should have listened to the warnings… it was too late. Stryker himself showed up at my 'room' and I had an armed escort out of Alkali and into a facility in Ireland where I spent most of the rest of my time. I spent my last two years in Russia." I didn't mention to him that he had returned the day I was being transported and I was free briefly before telling him to go. I had the opportunity of being free of Stryker then, but I knew that if they caught me they would catch both of us. His freedom was more important than my own so I made sure he was gone before returning to the guards. They had searched all over for him but they didn't find him that day.

I could feel the anger oozing from Logan so I tried to calm him down. There was nothing he could do to change what happened. "Logan? Breath, calm down… there's nothin' you can do about what happened." I placed my hands over his knuckles where I could feel his claws trying to come out.

**Logan's POV**

It was strange. I had seen Stryker die, I knew first hand that he was in fact dead, but that didn't stop me from wanting to kill him again for what he put this innocent angel through. _I'm supposed to be comforting her and she's trying to calm me down? There really is something special about this one._ I looked over at her. She wasn't looking at me but at her hand on top of mine. She was gently rubbing the area where my claws come out. Part of me loved that feel of her hand on mine but I pulled mine away and went to the fridge.

"Want a beer?" I asked with my back towards her. I turned and faced her when she didn't answer only to see her starring out the window again. I grabbed two beers and walked over to her. She jumped when my arm brushed against hers as I set the beer down on the counter. She just looked down at the beer and then back out the window. _This woman is driving me crazy!_ "Look at me." I practically growled out.

"I…I'm sorry. It's just… I didn't expect so much to happen in one day. I knew Sabertooth would find me and I knew it would be sooner rather than later… I just didn't expect it to be _this_ soon. I…" She was interrupted with a knock on the front door. We both sniffed the air and I saw her tense. "Magneto." I sniffed the air again and sure enough it was Magneto knocking on our door.

"What the hell does he want?" I growled. I didn't want to see him ever again after what he'd already put all of us through. I positioned myself to where I was standing in front of Cat. I knew that with the metal in our bodies we were no match for him but it didn't change the fact I felt the need… and want to protect her.

We braced ourselves as the door to the kitchen opened.


	4. Sunrise Trip

**Cat's POV**

As the door opened I closed my eyes. I'd already dealt with Sabertooth… that was enough to last a month or so. I opened them when I sensed Xavier come in first. He was followed by Magneto. I hissed and heard a growl from Logan.

"Well, this is charming. I should have looked here first for you, Thundercat. Nice to see you again, Logan." Logan growled again, this time with more warning to it.

"We're no match for him, Wolverine." I whispered so low that I knew Logan was the only one who could hear it. Xavier was too busy trying to figure out why Logan was so protective of me. I was wondering the same thing. All of sudden, I'm not exactly sure what happened, but Logan was pulling my arm and we were making a beeline for the door. He practically pushed us through Magneto and I noticed we were heading to the garage.

When we arrived in the garage he stopped and turned on the light. I looked at my dark blue bike… "Good, someone brought my bike in."

"Yeah, I saw it sittin' out front. I figured who's ever it was could just get as easily from the garage as they could from it being at the front. Besides I figured it had something to do with why Beast called me." Logan said as he walked towards his own bike. "Come on, kid. Let's get out of here and away from _him_."

I grabbed my own helmet before making my way to Logan. "Aye. Please. Where we goin'?" Ok I'm not sure what was with my accent. It was a mix between the Irish I had picked up and my native Cajun. "Gawd, what's with mi accent?" Point proven.

"I was wonderin' the same, kid."

I wish he'd stop calling me that. "I thought I lost mi Cajun accent awhile back. I guess bein' around Remy is bringin' it back. Saint's preserve us… I like mi Cajun but really? And now my Irish is coming full force too?" With that I put my helmet on and stopped talking.

"Just get on. Worry about your accents later, kid. Let's get out of here." He said as I hopped on behind him and he started the bike.

I loved the feel of his body against mine… it didn't help that my body was screamin' for male contact. I tried to keep my mind distracted from the feeling of his warm body pressed against mine… Anything to keep my mind off that. _I wonder what Magneto wanted. I'm sure the Professor will tell us tomorrow… well, he'll tell the X-Men tomorrow anyways. I can just get Remy to tell me._ At the thought of not being included with the X-Men there was a pain deep in my chest. I never thought that I would want to be part of a team. Except for Remy, I was, in all intensive purposes, a loner. I kept to myself; hardly letting anyone in. I'd made that mistake once, I wasn't going to do it again. When Logan asked how we knew each other, I held back a few things. I told him the truth about me sticking to him like glue because I didn't want the attention of the other guys there… but it was more than that. I stuck to him because I liked him; you could say it was a crush. There were times when I thought he felt the same… but then when his girlfriend had showed up… Logan and I had actually started talking about things, nothing too in depth but enough to where I was letting him into my life and into my heart. When his girlfriend showed up… he didn't pay any attention to me anymore even though he did let me stay close as long as I stayed out of his way when he wanted to be with his girl. It hurt me. I'd thought of him as a friend, I told him things I never told anyone else. With those thoughts I felt my arms fall to my side. The only thing keeping me on the bike was the grip of my legs. I knew I couldn't hate him, he is after all the Wolverine. He's more of a loner than I am; it's in his nature to be so distant. Even though I didn't hate him, I couldn't wait for this ride to be over. It was a rollercoaster of emotions being this close to him after all these years… Only three people had gotten me through some of the horrible things I had to endure. Remy, Laura, and Logan; though I'd never admit, at least out loud, the third. Ok, Laura knew that, but I knew she wouldn't tell and I'd never actually told her… she just sort of figured it out after he left.

**Logan's POV**

I was headin' to a place I knew very well. It was one place that I had all to myself. You could catch some of the most breath taking sunrises and sunsets at this place. I wasn't sure where I was takin' her at first… I just knew that she and I needed to get away from that house while Magneto was there. She had been through so much already… and I wasn't sure I could trust myself around him. Even with Charles there. I loved the feel of her arms around me. It somehow felt familiar, something from another life. I was relishing in the warmth of her body pressed against mine when I suddenly felt hers arms drop. If it wasn't for the feel of her helmet against my back I would have thought she'd fallen off. I could barely sense her emotions. We were moving too fast and the wind was taking her scent away. As I was about to pull over and ask her what was wrong I realized that the turn off was just ahead. I made the turn and then slowed the bike down before stopping all together.

"We're here. There's just a little walk, but we'll make it in time." She got off first and I watched as she took her helmet off and placed it on the seat. Something wasn't right. Her eyes were the ice blue, but there was still something about them that said she was thinking about something sad. As I got off the bike I noticed her move a little further away. Her head was down, causing her auburn hair to shield her face. Her hair was only a little longer than Remy's and had a wave to it right now. She was looking intently at the ground as though she found it more interesting than anything else. I made a slight move forward and tried to lift her chin so she had no choice to look at me, but she moved back too fast. I involuntarily growled and felt sorry about it because I saw her flinch. I didn't know what was wrong but I vowed then and there that I would find out before we headed back. "Come on." I tried to reach for her hand only for her to move it away. I knew she was struggling with her hormones right now, but that's not the reason for her sudden lack of wanting to touch me. I huffed and then led the way toward the cliffs. I knew she'd follow, but I was still upset that I couldn't figure her current state out.

"What's wrong, Cat?" I asked as we reached the cliffs. We still had a few hours before the sun would rise so I was going to get to the bottom of whatever was bugging her.

"…" All she did was shrug and move further from me. That movement did nothing but fuel my anger and annoyance more. I was not one to be ignored or shrugged at.

"Cat! We're not going back until you tell me what's wrong! Don't you dare ignore me!" My temper flared and as suddenly as I said those words I regretted the tone my voice took on.

"Don't. Logan, just don't. Like you care how I feel; like you ever cared about me." Her head was still down but I could smell the tears flowing down her cheeks. She was thinkin' of the past; a past I had no idea what had happened to me or to those around me.

"I don't know what happened between us in the past. Hell, I don't remember anything about that time of my life. Don't hold that against me now."

"I'm sorry. I told you that I wish I didn't remember. I wish I couldn't remember how you treated me like a friend one day and then the next I was nothing more than a child who wouldn't leave you alone. That's all I ever was to you, a kid. I told you things… things that no one else knew. I thought… I thought you cared about me, but I see I was only foolin' myself. I shouldn't have come here. I see now that that was a mistake. I think I'd like to go back now. I have things to do before I leave."

I was frozen. She was wanting to leave? Coming here was a mistake? I knew I could take him physically but I knew if I let her leave because of me, Remy would skin me alive. And I'm not so sure Rogue would try to defend me; she had seem to form a connection to this ki… woman. And that just didn't happen with Rogue. "You can't leave. What about Omega Red? Or Magneto? What about Remy and Rogue?"

"I'll deal with Omega Red and Magneto when the time comes. As for my brother and Rogue… I'll keep in contact." She was turning back towards the road before I had time to react. Before I was even thinking I grabbed her and pulled her to me. She tried to struggle against me, she might have even broken free had she not been so exhausted. All of a sudden I kissed her roughly.

"Kayla." I whispered a name I'd long forgotten. I wasn't even really paying attention. Memories were flooding back to me when I suddenly felt a sting across my face. Before I could comprehend anything I was standing alone. Cat had run off. I knew I wouldn't find her helmet on my bike. I knew she'd have grabbed that before flying back to the mansion. The place I'd hoped would help calm her and get her mind off her fear had been one where she'd been hurt. I didn't move, I couldn't. _What have I done?_

**Cat's POV**

I was so shocked when he'd kissed me. I thought maybe, just maybe things would be different and that he was kissing me and not her. Then my hopes, my world, shattered with one single name. Kayla. I'd liked her, I really had but I'd also hated her too. She had Logan, all of him. She was the reason he'd forgotten all about me and the worst part of it… she'd been the reason he was there. I'd slapped him as hard as I could, knowing that it'd only sting for a moment before he'd feel nothing. I had grabbed my helmet before taking off toward the mansion. I had too much to do before I would leave, but I'd be gone before morning. I would leave a note for Remy and Rogue and even Scott. I couldn't say good-bye in person, they'd only try to stop me. I knew that I might be able to resist Scott's and Rogue's pleas but I know I was no match for my brother. I would stay with him forever and he wouldn't have to beg at all. I wasn't going to face that. I had to leave. I had to get away from Logan. It'd hurt the first time he forgot me… I wasn't going to give him a chance to do it a third time. I managed to get back to the mansion in good time. I ran quietly to my room and after stuffin' everythin' back into my duffle bag I took a few minutes to write a note to Remy and Rogue.

_Remy,_

_I'm sorry, brother. I had to leave without saying good-bye. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist your requests for me to stay. I will contact you in time. I don't want to be found right now. I have things I have to deal with; emotions I have to sort out. I really am sorry for leavin' like this. Know that I always loved you and always will. You are my brother. You were the strongest force that kept me alive. I know I'm hard to kill, but I'd actually done research on how I could die… It was you who kept me breathing. Rogue, take care of him. I know he loves you and you him. Take care of each other. I will contact you when I sort things out. Maybe one day we'll see each other again. I'm sorry._

_ Love,_

_ Catarina "Thundercat"_

I left the note on the bed that I would have been in. I propped it up so that they were sure to see it. I looked over my shoulder before leaving the room. I tiptoed quietly towards Scott's room. I slowly and quietly opened the door just enough to stick the note on his door. All it said was that I was leaving and I was sorry things didn't work out better for us. I told him that I would always remember his passion for his family. I knew he was strugglin' with Jean's death but I also knew that he would pull through and be alright in the end. I wished him well, and was sorry that we weren't able to work as a team.

With those loose ends tied I made it my mission to be as far away from the mansion as possible before Logan got back. I couldn't promise that I wouldn't hold back the cat that wanted to do to him what I had done to Sabertooth. As I walked past Logan's room I realized that there was something in my bag that I wanted to give back to him. It was one of his dog tags. Before Kayla had showed up we had exchanged them: I had one of his and one of mine and he had one of mine and one of his. I knew he'd also have another set, but wasn't sure if he even had either set. I decided to keep it… knowing full well that it would torture me if I held on to it. I figured that I was never going to get over him anyways… what did it matter anymore? Instead I had returned another gift he had given me. It was a figurine of a cat and a dog… such a symbol of me and him: the Thundercat and the Wolverine. I laid it on top of a note that only said one word "Good-bye" I set it on the foot of the bed and walked out of the room.

I had to pass by Xavier's office on my way to the garage. I stopped in front of his open door. He was still talking with Magneto but looked at me when I walked past. "Professor, I'd like to thank you for your offer for me to stay here… but I'm afraid I can't. I've too much to figure out before I can ever truly be happy anywhere. I'm not sure where I'll go. I've written a note to Remy, letting him know that I'll contact him when I feel ready to. I'm sorry. I hope that I'm strong enough to face Omega Red when the time comes. If not… I hope your mission comes true. We need a world where people don't hate others because they're different; where humans and mutants can work together regardless of the past. We sure as hell don't need another Hitler; either mutant or human." That last comment was directed more at Magneto than at the Professor. I just hoped he got the message. I was hoping to be gone before Logan got back. Knowing him he's still standing there stunned where I left him.

_Cat, don't do this. Colossus is in my office… Omega Red is in the states. At least stay until we locate him._ Professor's voice came to me just as I was reaching the gate. _You can't stop him on your own. I'm not trying to say you're not strong enough… I'm just saying Omega Red is stronger. Think about what it would do to Gambit if he lost you for good. We'll protect you from Omega Red, but please stay here until he's stopped. Gambit's going crazy as we speak. He wants blood… I fear he may do something he'll regret. He and Logan are friends and I don't want to see Remy do something stupid. You're the only one who can stop him. I don't know what Logan did, but putting yourself in danger and putting your brother through the pain of losing you again… All I'm asking is for you to stay until we find and stop Omega Red. Please._

Good grief, Charlie Brown! Xavier sure does have a way with words and a way to get someone to do something. I never realized, through the pain I was feeling over Logan, that Remy would automatically blame him. Logan was, after all, the last person I'd talked to. _Alright, Xavier, I'll stay until Omega Red is no longer a threat to me or anybody else._ I mentally replied as I drove my bike back to the garage.


	5. Omega Red and Magneto

**Logan's POV**

I don't know how long I was standing there. I still had no clue who Kayla was but I guess whoever she was, Cat didn't like her too well. Or, maybe she didn't like being called another woman's name… but then what woman does? The sun was already rising as I finally made it back to the mansion. I figured she was already gone so I was surprised to see her bike parked in the same spot with her helmet on the back seat. _Good, Logan, you're back. I know you've been up all night, but we're in the conference room. Something's come up about Omega Red. Please join us immediately._

I was in a dead run at the name he spoke. _That's why she hasn't left yet._

_Yes. I had to ask her to stay at least until we found and stopped Omega Red. That and stop Gambit from killing you… or at least try to kill you._ _She's here… you are not to touch her, look at her, or talk to her until she approaches you or unless it's purely business. Understand? I'd hate to see Gambit, Scott, and Rogue gang up on you. Oh, Magneto's here too. Before you growl… he's here to help. Something Cat said as she was leaving made him look at what he's done. Don't judge too quickly._

_Yeah, I won't trust to quickly either, Professor._ I mentally replied as I entered to conference room. I made sure that my eyes stayed on the Professor or whoever was speaking instead of Cat. Even when she spoke, I didn't look at her, I looked at the wall behind her.

"I know Colossus knows more about Omega Red than I do. I only met him once… but that was enough to know that he's strong. He mainly wants Russia to be a great military and world power again. He wants to return Russia to the U.S.S.R."

"Cat's right. Omega Red was created during the Cold War as a weapon. He was frozen when the U.S.S.R. fell. Now for some reason he's been released from his frozen state." Colossus informed us in his usually thick Russian accent, but it wasn't thick enough that we couldn't understand him. That was usually an issue.

"Why frozen?" Storm asked.

"The cold slows him down. If he's completely frozen he won't be able to function. That's how I was able to stop him for a brief time so I could escape. I wasn't strong enough in my weather control to bring forth the Arctic wind needed to stop him completely." Cat answered Storm. I'd personally like to know how she knew that little bit of information but thought I'd better hold my tongue and hope someone else asked. I wasn't going to speak to her… period.

"I think we've talked enough for now. I'll let Cat and Logan get some rest. We'll meet again after lunch, at about 2:30pm. You're excused."

"Professor?"

"Yes, Catarina?"

"Can I talk to you, please?"

"Certainly, let's go to my office."

I walked out of the room before they did and headed upstairs. I was planning on a shower and a little nap before lunch. That plan went out the window when I walked into my room. There was a silver statue on my bed. It was a dog and a cat. I picked it up and read the note that was under it. "Good-bye, Logan. Cat." I just sat and starred at the statue that obviously symbolized the two of us. It looked somehow familiar and I spent most of the morning trying to figure out why. It wasn't until a little before lunch that I managed to make it to the shower.

**Cat's POV**

I followed the Professor to his office.

"What is it?"

"Is there any way you can…" I was trying to figure out the words I wanted to say. "…Can you… is it possible for you to see my memories and record them onto a disc or something… kind of like a sick home movie?"

"Actually, Kitty has just been able to come up with a way to do that. You want me to record your memories? Why?"

"I thought it'd be a lot easier for everyone to see what I've gone through… easier for them to _see_ that than for me to talk about it. I know Laura and…Logan…" I knew he'd seen me flinch when I mentioned the name. "I know they want to know about their past. I can at least let them see what mine was like and they'd get to understand what they'd gone through too. I know that I'm just some 'key' for Logan. I'm just someone who can give him answers to questions he's been trying to figure out for a long time. I'd like to do this as soon as possible, please."

"Alright, we'll start the process this afternoon after the meeting. The rest will be in the Danger Room for exercises. I'll pull Hank with us and we'll start. But now you should get some rest. I've asked Rogue and Remy to leave you alone and stay out of the room. I'll see what I can do to block any nightmares so that you can have a peaceful sleep."

"Thank you, Professor. I do appreciate this."

"Oh, Scott's waiting outside your door. He wants to talk to you, I've told him to keep it short. You've had a rough day."

"To say the least, Xavier. Thanks again for everything." I smiled slightly before leaving. I wasn't sure what Scott wanted to talk to me about but at least it'd be short. I was tired. I could already feel the Professor probing my mind for any signs of nightmares. I usually don't like feeling someone in my head but this actually made me feel safe.

"Scott?" I acted like I was surprised to see him.

"Cat, I'm sorry."

"For?"

"What I said earlier. About not having room on the team for you. Truth is… we do have an empty spot, but I'm just not ready to replace her."

"Scott, it's ok. I said earlier that the main reason for being here, besides finding Remy, was to ask for a safe haven. For a place to stay until I could be sure that those three mutants weren't coming after me again. Now I guess it's just one. I know, I don't trust Magneto either, but I am an empath and I can feel that he truly wants to help. He may have gone about it the wrong way… ok, ok, he definitely went about it the wrong way but…"

"But nothing! He nearly killed Rogue… he used Jean… He's freakin' Hitler!"

"Don't. Don't say that. He's not Hitler, nowhere near that magnitude of hatred… sure he's done a lot of evil and tried to kill a bunch of people… but he's not Hitler. He's been through so much… suffered so much… it's just hard to not feel a little sorry for him."

"Are you listening to yourself? This _is_ Magneto we're talking about!"

"Can he really be all that bad if Xavier allows him to stay here? If he trusts him enough for that?" I knew nothing I was going to say to Scott, or anyone else here, would change the way they saw Magneto, and for that I was sorry. I know what it's like to be judged because of something you've done in the past. I was rather lonely in Ireland and Russia after word got around about my killing of those guards. Everyone saw me as dangerous and wouldn't give me the chance to prove otherwise. Part of me felt bad for Magneto, I also owed him my life. Something nobody knows, because that's the way he wanted it. I had to make a point to talk to him before my appointment with the Professor later. I had to let him know that one day, Xavier and everyone else was going to find out what he did for me. "Scott, I need to get some sleep. I'll see ya at lunch."

"Alright, sleep well."

"Thanks." I smiled, knowing that I would in fact have a dreamless sleep thanks to the Professor.

I woke up early enough for me to be able to take a shower before heading down for lunch. With Xavier no longer in my head I let my thoughts travel to the wee hours of the morning and what had happened. Though it still hurt to think about it, I still couldn't forget the feeling I had when he kissed me. I still felt the warmth and coldness on my lips. I just wished it was me he was thinking of and seein', not Kayla. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me. As soon as I walked back into the room I wished I had decided to change in there.

"Logan, what do you want?" I was a little angrier than I was embarrassed. Though I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks; there I was with just a towel around me and the man of my dreams was sitting on mi bed. His hair was wet which means he'd just gotten out of the shower. When I was done looking over his perfect body I noticed the small statue in his hands.

**Logan's POV**

I sat on her bed and faced the bathroom. I'd heard the water runnin' when I entered but I didn't think she'd walk out in just a towel. Boy was a wrong. She looked amazing… and that didn't even begin to describe her. It was all I could do to control the Wolverine and not jump her. I did NOT want to end up like Sabertooth. I was actually hopin' to have little Wolverines running around some day… not that I'd admit it to anyone. I was just waiting for the right woman. I was starting to think I'd found her… then I remembered what happened at the cliffs. I'd never be able to visit that place again without thinking about it. _Dude, that sucks. I loved that place._ After I slowly looked over her perfect body I finally decided to her answer question. "Why did you return this?"

"I wan' nothin' t' do wit' yo'." I stared at her… her Cajun accent was back. "Get out before I through you out."

"Look, I'm sorry for earlier. I don't even know who Kayla is. I don't remember."

"That's part of the problem, Logan. Yo' don't remember her, but yo' still called me her. Yo' don't get it, do yo'? Just get out. I'm tired o' bein' yo' key. I'm done answering your questions. One of these days everything will be explained. I just hope I'm not around when it is. Just leave and leave me alone." I looked at her. She wasn't looking at me, just past me. "Oh, an' take dat statue wit' yo'. I don't wan' any reminder o' yo'."

I stood up and walked toward the door. I looked at the statue still in my hand and then looked back at Cat. She had already gone back into the bathroom. As I stepped out into the hallway and closed the door, I looked back at the statue. I'd given it to her right after one of her tests. She was shaking, something wasn't right. I'd always kept the statue hidden in my 'room.' I'd given it to her that night, she'd stay in my room all the time and then she wouldn't. I still couldn't figure out why she'd stopped staying with me and started staying with Laura. Nobody said anything about it. I had told her it represented the two of us…

"She gave it back? Boy, Logan, you must have really screwed up." Laura snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"I'd never think she'd get rid of that thing. She always had it on her after you left. I'm sure if it were small enough she'd have worn it. What did you do to piss her off that much?"

"I called her 'Kayla'."

"You didn't! My god, Logan! I know you don't remember everything and right now you're getting bits and pieces… No wonder she's pissed and wants nothing to do with you. That's all I'm saying. Don't look at me like that, it's not my place to help you realize what you've done."

I watched as she walked away, shaking her head. I had to find out who this 'Kayla' was and soon.

_Logan, I told you to leave her alone._

_I'm sorry, but I had to ask about the statue. Especially after I remembered what it meant._

_Now you know… Now leave her be. She'll reach out to you when she's ready._

I now felt guilty about walking into her room. I knew what Xavier had told me earlier, but I just couldn't help myself when I'd had a piece of my past hit me in the face. I made my way down to the kitchen for lunch. I wasn't surprised to see Cat walk in and walk out with her food. What I was surprised to see was Magneto following her.

"What's with those two?"

"Gambit wished he knew. What's with yo' and my sister? What'd yo' do?" Gambit cornered me. Rogue and Scott were not far behind. They all had that same look. But I think they forgot that the Wolverine doesn't like to be cornered.

"Why don't ya'll back off? I don't like to be cornered." I growled. No matter how much I deserved their glares and silent death threats, I was NOT going to be backed into a corner.

"Alright, we'll back off, but yo' leave her alone! You're not to touch, look, talk, or even think about her. Yo' understand me, bub?" Gambit had backed off but was still throwing threats at me.

"The Professor already gave me that speech. Just leave me alone." With that I grabbed some food and left the kitchen. I was walking past the study when something stopped me.

"What are you saying Catarina?"

"They're going to find out sooner or later, Magneto. I've talked to Xavier and there's away for me to release my memories. Not get rid of them, I'll always remember them, but for everyone else to see them too."

"And you never once thought about the consequences of them finding out what happened with you and I?"

"My gawd, Magneto! Do you hear yourself? It's not like there's any romantic feelings between you and I… gross. You saved my life… twice!"

"Who says there's no romantic feelings between us?" Magneto's voice was seductive. It gave me the creeps and I wanted to bust in but knew better. I wasn't leaving though, I would bust in if things got out of hand.

"Don't touch me! All I have to do is scream and they'll come running."

"All but the one you want, right? You've told him to leave you alone though everything in you wants him. Child, dear child, you kid yourself. Why want him when you can have me? He's an animal, I'm a man." I had to suppress both a laugh and a growl with his statement. _Surely he's not talking about me… but then she… I…_ Boy was I confused.


	6. Sapphire Eyes

**Cat's POV**

"Get your hands off, Magneto! All I have to do is call out to Xavier and he'll see what's going on. Do you think he'll approve of this? Get off!" I was trying to push him away. I just hoped he wouldn't use his powers on me… if he did I was done. Magneto was running his hands all over me. He was trying to undo the buttons on my shirt and the fastener on my pants. I'd had about all I could take of men trying to screw me. "Get off! Someone, help! HELP!"

Just as soon as I screamed Logan came bustin' through the doors. At that point I didn't care if we were trying to kill each other, he was my savior right then and there.

"Magneto, get off her!"

"You're the last person that could help her. That metal…" Just then Logan was slammed into the wall.

_Professor! We need you in the study now! HELP!_

**Xavier's POV**

I was in the med lab going over details of the procedure to record Cat's memories when I heard her scream in my mind. I suddenly stopped what I was doing and focused on her. She was in the study with Magneto, they'd been talking about something and now he was trying to rape her. Logan had tried to intervene, but was slammed into a wall. I'm surprised no one else heard that. _Scott, get to the study. Now. It's Cat and Logan. Magneto's… just get there quick._

**Scott's POV**

I heard Xavier's order and moved fast into the study. I blasted Magneto and he flew across the room. I went to see if Cat was okay but she was already moving over to where Logan lay crumbled on the ground. I knew then, that no matter what Logan had done to make her mad, he'd always be the one she wanted.

"Logan! Logan! You can't die… I know you can't die! Logan!" She was holding him, his head in her lap. He wasn't responding… if Magneto killed Logan I was going to kill Magneto. I never particularly liked Logan, at least not when he'd arrived at first. But after Jean's death we kind of got closer because we were both mourning her loss. We'd still never seen eye to eye but now… he was still a member of the team, and my friend.

"LOGAN!" Cat was shaking him, trying to get him to respond. She's was crying. After about a minute of her shaking and screaming she collapsed on top of him. Still crying but she wasn't going anywhere any time soon. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't leave me again." Her voice was a mere whisper but somehow it was loud enough for me to hear.

"What the…?" Gambit and Rogue came into the room.

"Logan?" Gambit grabbed Rogue into an embrace to keep her from going over to Cat and Logan.

"Come back, Logan. Logan, I can't go on without you… not again. Please. Please, come back to me…" Cat was sobbing, pleading, and hoping that Logan could hear her.

**Logan's POV**

The last thing I remember was being slammed into a wall in the study. I was trying to stop Magneto from raping Cat. Before I could sense anything that would bring me relief I was surrounded by darkness. I was dreaming about Three Mile Island. Scott was there along with Gambit and even Sabertooth. There had just been a huge battle, I'd stopped something that Stryker was trying to do. As we were trying to escape, I was carrying someone in my arms. She's was holding on but just barely. At first I thought that maybe it was Cat but then I somehow remembered never seeing her there. I looked down and notice that it was Kayla I was carrying. The woman I thought had died before I got the adamantium, but then I remembered it was because of her that I was here. But I still loved her, I still… then I came back to the present day. That's why Cat was so upset with me, Kayla had been my lover, not Cat. I still didn't understand a lot of things but now I at least knew a little more than I did.

"Come back, Logan. Logan, I can't go on without you… not again. Please. Please, come back to me…" I heard Cat's soft voice… but something was off. She was crying. For me? She said she didn't want anything to do with me… but now she was crying because she thought I was dead.

As I opened my eyes it was still dark. Then I realized that my face was covered by a body that was shaking. I recognized the scent… it was Cat. I slowly placed my hand on her head. She stopped moving and then lifted up. "Hey, darlin'." My voice was soft, a quiet whisper that only she could hear. I smiled up at her when she relaxed enough and started breathing regularly.

"Oh, thank God! Don't ever do that to me again!" She about knocked the wind out of me when I sat up. I never thought I would love the feel of being in a woman's arms ever again. The only thing I knew to do in this situation was…

"Gambit, would you… a little help here." Gambit walked over but he didn't need to get her off.

"And with that comment, Logan, go die." With that she punched me, got up and left the room.

That probably wasn't my smoothest moment, it probably ranked right up there with me calling her Kayla. "She downright hates me, doesn't she?"

"Yeah. Smooth, Logan, and you call me the idiot." Scott retorted. "Open your eyes and actually see her. I thought you had heightened senses… if that was true you wouldn't be so blind."

"Ya know, sugah, Scott's got a point."

"I hate t' admit but they're both right. Open your eyes and really see her… or stay away and let her move on." Gambit said.

"I'd agree with you on that Gambit… but I'm not sure she can move on." Scott said before the three left the room.

"What on earth are they talkin' about?" I asked myself.

"You really aren't all that bright, Wolverine. The girl loves you and you treat her like crap. It's a wonder she just doesn't through herself at Cyclops and be done with trying to protect her innocence… at least that part of her innocence." I forgot Magneto was still here. I growled at him. I wasn't sure what exactly I was growling at: Magneto himself or the comment he made about Cat throwing herself at Cyclops. Though the latter didn't sound all that bad when I actually thought about it; Cyclops would be a lot better for Cat than I could. But at the same time, he was still mourning the death of Jean. Though I rather liked the idea of getting Cat and Scott together, the Wolverine was not thrilled.

**Cat's POV**

I couldn't believe him. I couldn't believe myself. I should know better… he just doesn't see me like that and I fear he never will. I walked out on to the balcony connected to my room and looked out over the gardens. As I let my eyes roam the area I noticed Scott kneeling in front of Jean's grave. I felt for him. I did. I knew why he'd said that there was no room on the team, he was not ready to replace Jean. Part of me wished I could bring myself to make him forget about her death, but I knew I'd never be truly happy with anyone but Logan. Sad and pathetic, I know, but it was true. I leaned against the wall next to the door and slid to the ground. I leaned my head back against the wall and let the tears flow. I hope they find Omega Red soon… I want out of here and away from Wolverine.

_Cat, we're waiting for you to start the meeting._

_I can't, Xavier. I can't face him again. Either one of them. I'm sorry, but you'll have to proceed without me. Let me know when you want me in the med lab._

_Okay, Cat. Be patient with Logan, he's thickheaded and stubborn. But he's a good guy and very protective of those he cares about._

I laughed at Xavier's comment about Logan. Oh, how I knew he was thickheaded and stubborn… I knew that all too well. I also knew that I couldn't be with someone who still pines for his girlfriend after so many years. I knew she was dead. Sabertooth had told me on our first encounter in New Orleans. She was killed during some sort of battle on Three Mile Island; died in Logan's arms.

I'm not sure how long I sat there on the balcony but I woke up with a start. I had just had a dream about something I haven't dreamt about in so long. I was panting and knew I had to calm down and get my eyes to change back to their normal ice blue. I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror… sure enough they were dark sapphire blue. I heard a knock on the door. I wasn't near calm enough for my eyes to change so I was hoping whoever was at the door would go away.

"Cat, let me in." Oh, no. It was Logan and he wasn't going anywhere. Crap.

I opened the door and waited for his question. "What does it mean when your eyes are _that_ color?"

Crap again. "Um… well, I uh…" Crap, crap, crap. "I had one of my release dreams… and uh, well my eyes they uh…" Crap.

He stepped inside. He had this smirk on his face. He understood very well why my eyes were sapphire. "Who was the dream about?"

Crap. Now what? Should I lie or tell him the truth? Crap… _ok, I got to work on my vocabulary_. "Um… well, it was… about, um… I, uh…" yeah, I was not at all taken off guard by him. He was so messed up. One minute he's kissing me, the next he calls me his former girlfriend's name, then he wants to talk about a very precious statue, then he's helping me, then he's wanting nothing to do with me… now, _Why the hell is he looking at me like that?_ "You are a walking contradiction, Logan. I know, I know, so am I… but really. I've never pretended not to lo… like you. I just don't get you." I was hoping that comment was enough to throw him from the current topic.

"You didn't answer my question… Who was the dream about?" He was backing me up against the wall.

"Don't back me into a corner… I'm like you, I don't like to be cornered." Come on Professor. "Is the meeting over? Shouldn't you be somewhere else, like the Danger Room or something?"

"Answer my question, Cat." He's persistent; I'll give him that.

_Cat, Hank and I are ready for you in the med lab. Tell Logan he's needed in the Danger Room._

Thank you, Professor. "I gotta meet with the Professor. He said you're needed in the Danger Room."

"You and I aren't goin' anywhere until you answer my question. Who was the dream about?"

"You! Okay! It was about you! Now go away!" I pushed him away with all my strength and ran out the door and to the med lab. I had to calm myself down, I knew tears were flowing down my cheeks. I hated to admit the truth to him. I calmed myself down as much as I could before entering the med lab.

"Sorry, Xavier. I didn't mean to take so long getting here. Shall we get started?" I looked at Xavier and then at Hank. Both nodded and I laid down on one of the beds as the Professor began to explain what was going to take place. Depending on how well this first session went, we'd be done in about a week or so.

**Logan's POV**

"You! Okay! It was about you! Now go away!" She'd had a sex dream about me? Good god, I am an idiot. Why couldn't I see that? This was the second time she'd run away leaving me shocked… or was it the third? I couldn't get the color of her eyes out of my head. I thought her ice blue were pretty… they didn't compare to the deep sapphire I'd just seen. I kicked myself for causing her to run away from me again. I was really beginning to hate the feeling of not being around her.

I couldn't think about that now, Scott would kill me (well not literally) if I didn't get down to the Danger Room asap. As I was on my way to the Danger Room I had to pass by the med lab and I couldn't help but notice three distinct scents: Beast, Charles, and Cat. _What in the world are they doing in there? Is Cat alright?_ I couldn't hear a thing… blasted sound proofing, even with my heightened senses I still couldn't pick up anything from the sound-proofed med lab.

"It's about time, Logan! Where have you been?" Scooter was pissed.

"Keep your socks on, Scott. I had to get something from my room."

"Yeah, you stay away from Cat. I mean it, how many times do I have to tell yo'?" There was no fooling Gumbo.

"Stop causing her pain, Logan." I'd never seen that look on Laura's face.

"So any of you know why Cat's in the med lab with Hank and Charles?" I asked trying to get the attention off me.

"She's what?"

"I'm sure she's fine, swamp rat." Rogue said

"I hope you're right, river rat." Their pet names for each other make me sick.

By the time we were finished in the Danger Room we were all exhausted. I wasn't too exhausted to notice that Hank, Cat, and the Professor were still in the med lab. I knew I wanted to shower but I also wanted to hang around outside the lab and question them.


	7. Gone

**Cat's POV**

"We've done very well today. We may be finished sooner than expected at this rate, but since we went longer than planned today, I think we should skip the session tomorrow and pick up again on Wednesday. We need to gather our strength back up. Hank and I will go through the footage we've recorded so far and make sure everything's working properly. Now, let's get some dinner. They should be out of the Danger Room by now. Yep, and Logan's been hovering outside the doors." The Professor and Hank were very happy about the first session of recording my memories; we'd made it all the way up to the time after Logan got the adamantium. That's a lot of years to cover in just a few hours.

"Great. I really don't want to deal with him again today."

"I know you don't but I think we need to explain to him what's going on here. He's going to be more affected by this project than even Gambit."

"Look, Professor, I know that, I do, but… Thinking about it, he'll only get a portion of what his life was like… and even that's only through my eyes. I don't know what to do about his time and memories after Alkali Lake. I think Gambit knows about that… I think he was there."

"What makes you think that?" I looked at Beast. I've discovered that I like the blue fuzzy mutant. He looks ferocious but he's totally not. Ok, I've never seen him mad… but most of the time he reminds me of a very intelligent, cuddly, blue teddy bear.

"Something Sabertooth said when we crossed paths in New Orleans. He also said something that pertains to Logan. I don't know if he's already remembered but…" I looked down at the ground before continuing mentally. _Kayla's dead._ I don't know why, but I felt my eyes fill with tears.

_I'm sorry, Cat_.

"Don't, she wasn't my friend. She wasn't even nice to me. You saw how she treated me. I'm not crying for her death… just how Logan must have felt when she died in his arms. I'm hungry. I think I'm goin' t' grab something from the kitchen and then go to bed. Night."

"Night." Hank and Xavier called after me.

As I walked out the doors I was met with a very agitated Wolverine. "What's wrong? Why were you in there with them? Are you feeling alright?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. And as to what we're doing… well we kind of should talk about it I guess. But not here; meet in my room a little later. No, I'm not going to argue with you. I'm too tired for that." I never once looked him in the eye. I walked upstairs, grabbed a plate of food and a beer and went to my room. Once there I just sat on the floor, I ate my food and finished off the beer not really paying attention to anything around me. I took a shower and didn't even bother getting dressed before I crashed onto the bed. I heard a faint knock on the door. "Come in." I didn't even bother to look at the door when it opened. For some reason the ceiling was a lot more interesting.

"Cat? Do you often sit in the dark?" Logan walked in noting the fact that I hadn't even bothered to turn my lights on.

"Not generally, but I'm in one of those moods where it seems appropriate. You can turn them on if you like." I replied, still staring at the ceiling. I could tell he was making his way towards the bed and I didn't even bother moving. I was so tired and completely out of it.

"What's wrong, Cat?" His voice was so full of concern that I had to look at him.

"I've just spent the past several hours reliving my life all the way up until you got your adamantium. I'm spent." I said locking my gaze back on the ceiling. Tears spilling out of my eyes and running down the sides of my face; I'm a complete mess.

**Logan's POV**

I didn't know what she and the Professor had been up to in the med lab; all I knew is that she was shutting down. She was starting to close herself off from the world and begin to feel nothing. I couldn't let that happen. Not now that I was beginning to feel something for her… or realizing that I've always had feelings for her… even while we were at Alkali Lake. She was crying. At least that was a sign that she was still feeling something. I began to climb onto the bed. I finally notice that she wasn't wearing anything but a towel. Her auburn hair was wet and sticking to her face and the pillow. I pulled the blankets around her and curled up next to her. I pulled her into me. She didn't fight. She didn't struggle. Instead she moved so that we were spooning. Even sensing her hormones wouldn't keep me from wanting to comfort her. Suddenly the door opened and Rogue and Gambit walked in. Gambit turned on the light which resulted in a moan from the woman in my arms.

"Turn it off." Cat said.

"What is goin' on in here?" Gambit was a little upset.

"Shut up, Remy. Just leave us alone, please." I was surprised that Cat said 'leave _us_ alone' and that she'd said it to Gambit.

He was going to object but Rogue pulled him out the door.

"Cat, what were you doing in the med lab?" I asked hoping that I would get an answer.

She flipped over so we were looking into each other's eyes. "The Professor is recording my memories onto a disc."

"Why?" I was wiping her tears away and she wasn't stopping me. In fact she grabbed my hand and held it against her cheek. She stayed that way for awhile. I wasn't even sure she would answer me. She sat up, making sure the towel stayed in place. I watched her face as a dozen emotions played across her features. She finally got up from the bed. She rummaged through her drawers for something. I watched her walk into the bathroom. I'd sat up when she did and was getting ready to start pacing in front of the bathroom door when she finally emerged. She was wearing a well-worn, black t-shirt (it kind of looked like one of mine) and a pair of black, cut-off sweat shorts. She still looked detached. "Why is the Professor recording your memories?" I asked again. My mind was thinking the worst. _Was she doing it for me or Gambit? Was she doing it so he could then erase her memories? Was she leaving? Or worse, was she dying?_ Those were the questions that were running through my mind the entire time she was in the bathroom.

"It'll be a lot easier on me if you guys watch my memories instead of me trying to explain them. Especially after I'm gone."

"Gone?" In that context it could be taken so many different ways.

"I can't stay here. Not when there are people who don't want me here. I've told Xavier that I'm leaving once Omega Red is stopped. That's been the plan all along. Nothing changes that. Logan, please leave. I can't stand being in the same room with you right now. Every part of me just wants to feel you, to touch you, but I can't allow that. I can't allow myself to…" I had stood up at some point during her speech. I pulled her to me and just held her. She tensed up at first but then slowly relaxed. I held her face between my hands and kissed her. She responded instantly but only for a brief moment. I broke away when she shoved me and when I looked into her eyes I hated myself. They were deep sapphire but she was sad. I had done the one thing she didn't want me to do. I stepped back, kissed her on the forehead, and left the room. I stood with my back on the door as I heard her sobs. She muffled them into a pillow but I could still hear them. I'd hurt her again. Maybe it was best for her if she left. I vowed then and there, that she would leave once Omega Red was stopped. I wasn't going to hold her here. I was pretty sure that not even Gambit could convince her to stay anymore. If she wanted to leave, I wasn't going to stop her.

**Cat's POV**

It had been a rough week. I had relived my past… all of it within just a few days. Kitty and Bobby had been tracking Omega Red and he'd been found at Niagara Falls in Canada. We'd headed out a few hours after his last spotting. That's what brought me here. I was standing on a rock overlooking the majestic falls. It was sunset and the person standing next to me was Scott. It wasn't who I wanted it to be, but then I hadn't spoken to or really seen Logan at all since that night in the bedroom. I pretended like it didn't hurt to see him avoiding me, then I started avoiding him after the pain got too much.

"Would you stay if I asked you?" Scott's question broke me from my thoughts.

"No." I didn't hesitate. I've made up my mind: I'm leaving once Omega Red is stopped. Not even Remy could convince me to stay.

"I wish you'd give up on him. He's never going to come around. It's just not in his nature to feel that way about someone."

"You're wrong, Scott. He has felt that way about someone before. Maybe if I hadn't met him after he thought she was dead… maybe had she actually been dead… who knows? I wish I could give up on him, Scott, I really do… But it's just not going to happen. I wish there was more I could do to make him see me for who I am; I wish there was more I could say… but I know that there's nothing. I give up on trying to make him see me, but I just can't give up on loving him. Would you have given up on Jean? If you were me and it was Jean… would you have given up on her?" That made him realize the situation. I knew the answer he gave before he'd given it.

"No, I wouldn't have."

"I want this all to be over with. The farther away from Logan I am… maybe I'll be able to breathe a little easier without his scent all over the place acting as a constant reminder of what I will never have."

"I really wish you'd stay but I understand why you won't." And with that he left me alone with my thoughts. I wasn't alone long though. "Omega Red." I hissed.

"It's nice to see you again, too, Catarina." His voice alone was enough to send chills up my spine.

_Professor, he's here and he's found me._ I faced him, claws out, eyes red. The temperature was dropping. It was the first thing I knew to do. Suddenly the temperature was drastically colder, the falls were even freezing. Storm. It wasn't soon enough, though. Omega Red had his tentacles around me and shocking me before I could react. The pain and the cold were too much and I cried out in pain before ending up on the ground, only half conscious.

"Iceman, don't!"

"It's the only way, Shadowcat!"

"No, we'll think of something else! I won't lose another X-Men."

"There's no time, Cyclops. Let me do this. It's the only way."

Their voices were faint. I was slipping in and out of reality. I was so cold and still reeling from the shocks I'd received from Omega Red. All I could gather was that Bobby was going to do something that meant he wasn't coming back. I watched, frozen, as Iceman jumped on the back of Omega Red and began to freeze him. "NO!" It was all I could do. I couldn't move, I could barely even breathe. The last thing I remember seeing was Iceman and Omega Red frozen together and being lifted into a helicopter. Bobby wasn't coming back. He was, for the most part, dead. The temperature began to slowly climb back to normal, but I still wasn't moving. I felt arms lift me up and at first I tensed but then the warm scent of my brother filled my senses and I relaxed. I could sense Logan right next to Remy, watching my every move but I didn't even begin to acknowledge him. We made it back to the mansion… all of us were shaken up. We were a team member short. I had finally healed enough to where I was walking on my own. I was leaning up against the door leading into my room. I was getting ready to give up on waiting for _him_ and open my door when _his_ voice stopped me.

"Are you alright, Cat?" He's voice was so full of concern that I almost forgot that he didn't want me.

"I will be." I wasn't just talking about physically either. I wasn't going to break down on him. I wasn't going to go back on the promise I'd made to myself about only sleeping with a man who loved and wanted me. I wasn't going to but when his hand touched mine, my resolve about failed. I turned around so fast that he was a little shocked. I kissed him; it was a passionate kiss, one that I'd been holding onto since the last time he kissed me. We made out like that for about a minute or so when all of a sudden he pushed me away. "Take me. Take all of me, I'm yours." He was shocked at my response. That was the first emotion that played across his face… the second was indifference.

"No. I don't want you." He paused. I thought that was all he was going to say. If that were the case I would have said that I didn't care anymore, but he shattered my heart into a thousand pieces when he said something else. "Go be with Scott. Give yourself to him." The only thing I could do after that was to watch him walk away. I stood in the hallway starring in the direction he went before I turned and opened the door to my room. I threw everything into my duffle bag, threw it across my back. I made my way downstairs. It was time to say good-bye. I didn't worry about giving in to those who wanted me to stay. The only person who could convince me to stay clearly didn't want me here. That was enough. My memories were on a disc and the Professor could show it when he felt it was time. Omega Red was stopped. My time here was over. I made my way downstairs. Everyone was in the game room. Nobody was really doing anything… Iceman was gone, we were all still feeling that loss. I took a deep breath and walked into the room. Logan was there. It didn't bother me, let him witness this. He did it. I had given my word to the Professor, I wasn't going to back out now; not after hearing how much Logan didn't want me. _Okay, girl, no more stallin'. Let's get this over with._

* * *

**_After re-reading this story I realized that I was not completely content with this ending and even though there will be a sequel I figured that this particular story needed another chapter and that the new chapter would probably fit better at the end of this story instead of at the beginning of the sequel. I hope to get Chapter 8-Memories up soon but with being so busy at work and everything it may be a week or so before it's finished and up. Not sure how the chapter will be but I do have the ideas needed to finish it. I thank you all for reading this story (even if I haven't received and reviews or responses; the number of hits and visitors does at least tell me that people are interested). Having said that, reviews, responses, opinions, thoughts on the sequel (which may actually be nearing completion some time soon, though I hope to get chapter 8 of this story done first), etc. is much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read the story though._**


	8. Memories

**Logan's POV**

"Would you stay if I asked you?" I think at this point everyone knew that Cat would leave after we stopped Omega Red. I had heard her and Scott's conversation in Niagara. I don't know if she knew I was there or not but I didn't care. I wanted to see if Scott could change her mind and possibly even her heart.

"No." She didn't even hesitate to answer him.

"I wish you'd give up on him. He's never going to come around. It's just not in his nature to feel that way about someone." I had to hold back a growl… he didn't know what he was talking about.

"You're wrong, Scott. He had felt that way about someone before. Maybe if I hadn't met him after he thought she was dead… maybe had she actually been dead… who knows? I wish I could give up on him, Scott, I really do… but it's just not going to happen. I wish there was more I could do to make him see me for who I am; I wish there was more I could say… but I know there's nothing. I give up on trying to make him see me, but I just can't give up on loving him. Would you have given up on Jean? If you were me and it was Jean… would you have given up on her?" I was shocked to hear her talk about Jean and the love she and Scott shared… nobody talked about Jean, especially to Scott. Did she just compare her for me to what Scott and Jean had had? That made my decision a lot harder than it already was.

"No." I knew Scott's answer before he spoke it. He and Jean had something special. I saw his reaction when we thought she died at Alkali Lake and then again when she died at Alcatraz. That kind of love… it doesn't happen often and not everyone gets to experience it and I know for one that I never have and probably never will.

"I want this to be over with. The farther away from Logan that I am… maybe I'll be able to breathe a little easier without his scent all over the place acting as a constant reminder of what I will never have." Her words cut like a knife. I knew what her feelings for me were; she'd never hidden that… but instead of walking over to her and asking her not to leave I walked away when Scott did. Now I wish I hadn't.

As soon as Xavier said that Omega Red had found Cat, my anger flared out of control. The temperature was dropping which triggered Storm to fly ahead of us to aid Cat in freezing Omega Red. Apparently it wasn't fast enough. As we were running toward where they were we heard a high pitched scream. I knew who it was probably even before Gambit did: it was Cat. When we finally approached the scene Omega Red had his tentacles wrapped around her and was shocking her. Cyclops blasted Omega Red which caused him to release a very weak Thundercat. I watched as she collapsed onto the ground, shivering and slipping in and out of consciousness. I stood there frozen, there was nothing I could do… no matter how much I wanted to run over to her. Then everything happened too fast… Iceman was jumping on the back of Omega Red even though everyone was telling him not to. "NO!" It was the first thing we'd heard from Cat since her screams. Not too long after the temperature started rising did Cat come back to us. Gambit picked her up, knowing that I wasn't going to. I stayed close to her though… watching her every move but she never once looked at me. That hurt.

"What's wrong, Logan?" Rogue asked when we were back at the mansion.

"She wants to leave."

"Then stop her. Ask her to stay."

"Why? What for?"

"For you, because you love her. She'd stay if you asked her to… if you let her go you'll regret it forever."

"I can't do that to her… I can't force her to stay just because I want to be able to see her every day. If leaving will make her happy…"

"Logan, look at me." She placed a hand on my forearm causing me to look at her. "_You_ are what will make her happy. _You_ are what she wants. Logan, you will both be miserable if you let her go. A love like you two have… it's like what Jean and Scott had. It only happens once and everybody longs for that kind of love… that's what pisses me off, Logan. You are letting that kind of once-in-a-lifetime-love slip away. I promise you this… you lose her now, you will never be happy and neither will she." I shook my head at Rogue's comment and went upstairs. I saw Cat leaning against the door as if she were waiting for someone. She looked tired and depressed… extremely depressed.

"Are you alright, Cat?" I couldn't help myself. I needed to know if she was alright.

"I will be." She glared at me briefly before studying the floor again. I knew she wasn't just talking about the physical stress she had just gone through. As she turned to enter her room I couldn't help but reach out and grab the hand that wasn't on the doorknob. She spun around so fast that I almost stepped back and then she kissed me. It was the most passionate, the most amazing kiss I'd ever felt. I almost changed my mind about letting her go. Then sanity (or, rather, insanity) came back to me. I wasn't prepared for her next response: "Take me. Take all of me, I'm yours." I was shocked and it took all my strength not to take her upon on the offer. Then I said the words that broke her heart worse than ever before. I lied; I flat out lied to her.

"No. I don't want you." I paused… this was way harder than I thought it was going to be. "Go be with Scott. Give yourself to him." I watched as her eyes went from sapphire to silver. I did the only thing I could… I walked away. I went downstairs to the media room… it was where everyone else had gone after getting back from Canada. A few minutes later, Cat entered the room with her bag slung over her shoulder.

After her good-byes, that I painfully watched, I stood up and walked to the window. I watched her ride towards the gate. She hesitated briefly before the gate opened and she sped away. I wanted to go after her; to tell her that I didn't mean any of what I said. To tell her that I did want her and that I even might be in love with her. I kept hurting her. Time after time I'd hurt her; part of me wished I'd never met her. But a bigger part of me was kicking myself for letting her go. It had been a beautiful night when we got back to the mansion from Canada, but now the rain was pouring. I turned around and noticed that Gambit was fighting back tears. He'd lost his sister again… this time it was my fault. Rogue wasn't fighting the tears, I'd rarely seen her cry which made it even worse. Scott wasn't too thrilled either. I wanted to hurt him; I wanted to blame him for this but I knew I couldn't. I was starting to see that he wished Cat wanted him; that she could forget about me and be with him. That's one of the reasons I wanted to hurt him… regardless of what I told Cat, the thought of her with anyone but me made my blood boil. I couldn't stand the idea of her being with anyone else. But what was worse was knowing that by not admitting that I wanted her, that I might possibly love her, and forcing her to be alone (oh, I knew she'd never be with anyone but me) was hurting her more than anything I'd done to her before.

"Why did she have to leave like this? Was it not bad enough that we lost Bobby?" Kitty was in tears. She hadn't known Cat for too long, but there was just something about Cat that made everyone think she'd been here forever.

"Why don't you ask Logan? I'm sure he knows." Scott's comment was dripping with hate for what he thought I'd done to Cat.

"What makes you think that, one eye?" I growled. I knew I was the cause of her leaving the way she did but I wanted to hear what he thought I'd done.

"You probably took advantage of her feelings for you. Led her on and then shot her down? Is that what happened?" He was almost right. The second part he pretty much nailed on the head. The fact that Cat and I made out for a minute or so before I told her I didn't want her… yeah, you could say I led her on and then shot her down.

"You got it with the second part, Scooter, but I would never take advantage of her. She deserves better than that… she deserves better than me." I looked back out the window and wondered where Cat was at this moment. I still fought the urge to go after her. But I knew she deserved better than what I could give. I was too focused on my past to really be able to be there for her like she wanted and needed me to be. "I have too many questions about my past to be able to be there like she wants and needs me to be." Suddenly, I remembered something Cat had said about her memories. "Professor, what about the project you, Hank, and Cat were working on before Omega Red? Is that finished and ready? Do you think…?"

"Yes, it's finished. Are you sure you want to view it now? Would it not be best to wait till morning, after we've all had proper rest?"

"I want to see it now. Please, Professor?"

"Wait, what are you two talking about? What project?" Gambit had now entered the conversation.

"Cat had asked me if I could record her memories onto a disc. She wanted this to happen so that you all could see what she went through. She didn't want to have to explain anything. She also wasn't sure if she was going to be here or not. For those who want to see it now, we'll head down to conference room."

Most of us followed Xavier down to the conference room. We were eager to see what Cat had gone through. As the disc started I heard Gambit begin to break down. We were watching some of Cat's earliest memories… She was five years old when she realized that she was different from everyone else. Her parents had abandoned her and Remy shortly after that and so they were dependent on each other. It wasn't until Stryker entered the picture that things started to pick up in Cat's life. We watched her grow up thinking that everything at Alkali Lake was great and watched as she finally realized the truth behind Stryker's false promises.

[A/N: Italicized words are from conversations from Cat's memories. When reading this section about them watching the disc imagine that you're looking at all this through Cat's eyes, because that's how Logan and them saw it. This is still Logan's POV.]

"_Catarina LeBeau, you're past due for a medical examination. It won't hurt and will be over before you know it." _Someone who looked like a doctor was seen talking to Cat.

"_Are you sure it won't hurt?" _Cat was asking the doctor. She sounded a little scared; kind of like she'd gone through something like this already.

"_I promise it won't hurt. Now let's begin. Age?"_

"_Don't know."_

"_Weight?"_

"_You're the doctor, you tell me." _That comment earned her a smack across the face (which of course didn't hurt for long but did cause a red haze to cover the screen.

"I told you when her eyes are red that that's all she sees." Laura's comment was shushed quickly. Everyone was focusing on the screen in front of us.

"_Weight?"_

"_120lbs. Height: 5 ft 8in." _This comment only earned a glare from the "doctor" but he moved right along with his questions.

"_Mutant abilities?"_

"_Claws, heightened senses, regenerative healing, and my eyes change colors depending on my mood."_

"_Anything else?_

"_Not that I'm aware of, Sir."_ Of course, she left out the fact that she was an empath… that's not something you let these kind of people know.

After watching this kind of "exam" over again for a few years… with a few tests and experiments thrown in here and there we finally saw a little more action (not that we wanted to).

"_Welcome back Catarina. Let's begin, shall we? Age?"_

"_Don't know. Weight: 120lbs. Height: 5ft 8in. I've been through this enough times to know the drill. No new mutations from the first hundred 'exams', Sir."_ It looked like the doctor had gotten used to Cat's attitude about the exams, tests, and experiments. As we watched her walk out of the exam room someone familiar passed by in front her which earned a gasp from her. _"It can't be."_ I wasn't exactly sure what that meant. She spoke as though she had seen me before that moment. The next few weeks of her memories were pretty much the same day after day. We saw her and I stay close to each other, if for no other reason than it kept the other men away from her. We had talked about sports, beer, and some other things that weren't all that important, but then there were conversations that seemed to be very deep for her to talk about. Things that she'd never told anyone else.

"_The thing I miss the most, Logan, is Remy. I long to see his eyes again, that red on black that most people find frightening but I find comforting and safe. I haven't seen him since I was five, but I always imagine what he'd look like now. He's the one thing I miss most about the outside. Mom and Dad left us when we were very young and he took care of me. Stryker promised so many wonderful things but they all turned out to be a lie. Now… I have no hope getting out of here to see my brother again."_ I had growled… both of me; the Logan on the screen as well as the present me at the sadness in her voice. In the past nobody but I knew that she had a brother who was also a mutant. I was starting to remember certain things. The memories that I was beginning to remember from that time were still a little fuzzy but I was beginning to realize that, even back then, I was falling for Cat. Everyone in the conference could see that. It was the way I looked at her back then. It was the fact that I protected her from the other men there. It was the fact that I was letting her in to my life… and into my heart. Had Kayla not shown up, had she been really dead, who knows what would have happened between Cat and I back then. Then one day everything changed…

"_Catarina, you stay away from Logan. He's mine. The only reason he lets you hang around him is because he feels sorry for you. He sees you as a lost little kitten. You're just a child to him, nothing more than a kid who has a school girl crush on him. Trust me, Catarina, he's way out of your league. Now, Victor is more you're style. Stay away from me and stay away from Logan. You'll listen to me if you know what's good for you."_ That's why Cat had begun sleeping in Laura's room after Kayla arrived. There were a few confrontations between the two but only one other one stood out to me.

"_Catarina, I told you to stay away from Logan."_

"_He's still my friend. I can talk to him if I want to. He doesn't seem to mind it and besides, what else are we to do when we're stuck in the same room for hours on end going through hell."_

"_I said stay away from him and I mean it. If you don't you'll be sorry."_

"_Oh, really? I wonder what lover boy will say when he finds out that _you're_ the reason he's here. Trust me, Kayla, I know a lot more than you think I do. Call it a gift, but you're no match for me."_ Kayla went to strike Cat but her wrist was caught by Cat. _"He wants to be free from all this but _you're_ the reason he can't leave. He's not happy here, not truly, not even with you here. If you truly loved him you'd leave so he could escape before it's too late. You know what they're going to do to him… to us. Mutants like us… you know what he goes through and yet you don't do anything to stop it. What kind of person are you? Kayla, get out of my face and never speak or look at me again. You make me sick."_ Emotions played across Kayla's face as Cat turned and walked away. It wasn't long after that that I was no longer in Cat's life.

"_Cat, what's wrong?"_ Cat was sitting on Laura's bed one night crying.

"_He's gone. Logan's gone, Laura. He left me here to rot in this hell hole. I'll never be able to go on living, but at least he'll be happy now that he's free. I'll do whatever it takes to keep him that way… and I mean whatever it takes."_

"_Cat, don't be stupid. He cares for you, he cares about you. He's just a little confused and angry right now. He'll come back for…"_

"_NO! Laura, he won't come back. Not for Kayla and especially not for me. Don't you get it… he doesn't care about me… in any way. If you don't mind I'm going to bed now. It's going to be a long, horrible, painful day tomorrow and who knows if I'll even make it through the process. Part of me doesn't want to live and right now that part is taking over."_ The look in Laura's (present day Laura) said that she was remembering the pain that Cat was going through in that moment and the pain that Laura herself had gone through knowing that there was nothing she could do to comfort her friend. We watched… well Gumbo had his face in his hands… Cat go through the adamantium process which brought back memories for me of that same painful process. And then we watched her slice and dice the handful of guards that tried to attack her. The next scene is what struck me the most.

She was being escorted out of the complex to an awaiting plane that was to take her to Stryker's lab in Ireland. But somehow I managed to star in this scene.

"_Logan? What are you doing here?"_ I had already grabbed Cat and was making a run for it in the woods before she stopped.

"_I'm getting you out of here. Come on!"_

"_No, Logan. I can't. I won't. I rather like the idea of going to Ireland… it's something different and who knows what'll happen while I'm there."_

"_Exactly. Who knows what will happen to you if you go? You can be free… we can be together. We can…"  
_

"_No, Logan, don't you get it. I don't want to be with you. Maybe before you left me, maybe before Kayla arrived… but not anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't and won't go with you now. I'm going back to Alkali before they find us. I'm sorry, Logan, I really am."_ We watched as she leaned up to kiss my cheek before running back to Alkali Lake. I remembered that feeling… that my heart was ripped from my chest. It was much the same feeling now, but this time I had pushed her… forced her to leave.

We sat and watched while her years in Ireland went by. We laughed when she laughed the year she was free. We watched while some guy named Patrick befriended her and tried to go out with her only to be continuously turned down for some reason she never explained but now we all knew why. We cried when she cried when they came for her. We nearly threw up when we saw the experiments that they put her through after realizing that she had a new mutations and when she learned she had the ability to fly. We watched as she was loaded up with some other mutants on a plane that was heading to Russia. We experienced the mixed emotions of everyone at the Russian lab as the news of Stryker's death spread. Then came the encounter with Omega Red.

"_I heard of a mutant like you, Catarina. Someone who was fierce and beautiful; I could use someone like you by my side."_

"_I don't know who you are but get your hands off me!"_ We sat there motionless as Omega Red tried to force himself upon her only to watch her tried to freeze him… then Magneto showed up. He helped her escape only to follow her and offer a spot with his Brotherhood.

"_You can do some much for fellow mutants with those powers of yours, Catarina LeBeau. Join me and we can make this a great place for mutants to live."_

"_No! I've heard of you, Magneto. I want to live in a world where mutants and humans can coexist peacefully. If I join some mutant group it'll be one who are striving for a world like that. You're going to have to find someone else."_ Little did any of us know that at that time Magneto had already found Jean/Phoenix. Now we all knew what Magneto was up to but we were still shocked to see him help Cat both with Omega Red and again with Sabertooth in New Orleans.

"_Well, it looks like you keep running into the wrong people. If you had come with me…"_

"_I heard what happened at Alcatraz… I'm glad I didn't go with you. Mutants like me don't do well with the cure running through their veins."_

"_The Wolverine did just fine… in fact he's doing great, no effect on him whatsoever."_

"_R-really? I'm glad to hear he's doing so well for himself."_

"_So it's true? You know the Wolverine? That's very interesting. So do you know that he's with the X-Men now?"_

"_I heard that somewhere, I think. I think it was when I heard that William Stryker was dead."_

"_So, Catarina, where are you heading?"_

"_To find my brother."_ Magneto chatted with her for a little while longer until she got annoyed and left. We watched as everything came to almost the present day. I got to relive some of the painful events that involved just the two of us and everybody else had a new reason to hate me right now. As the memories came to an end everyone sat in silence letting it all sink in. We had seen Cat's life through her eyes. We had seen the anger, the sadness, the joy, the pain; everything through her eyes and now there was nothing to say. Gambit was a complete mess… I would have been too had I allowed myself to break down in a room full of people. It wasn't until I got back to my… Cat's room that I began to realize how right Rogue was. Cat and I would never truly be happy unless we were together and now… that seemed like it was never going to happen.


End file.
